This is why I believe in birth control...

So, yesterday I was just minding my own business at work, being fairly productive, when a woman walks into my office with two children ages 1 1/2 and 3 and says, "I'm here to sign the papers."

Me: "You mean the ones that you insisted that the only time you could come to sign them was at 3:15 this afternoon... (pause to look at watch) ... exactly five hours and twenty minutes from now?"

Lady: "Yeah, those ones. I left my other two children who are both under the age of six at the doctor's office, so could you please hurry?"

Me: "Well, let me see if I can find the file and make the necessary changes that I was planning on making in a liesurely manner sometime before lunch."

While I went off to find said file, she set her two cute big-eyed little children down on the ground. I returned with the file, and after she looked at the documents she insisted that I change the wording of two answers before she would sign the document. She proceeded to peer over my shoulder and make formatting suggestions about margins and punctuation while I revised the document and ignored her yammering. Her 1 1/2 year old son proceeded to crawl under the back of my desk and turn the power strip for my computer off.

Lady: "Oh, he does that to me all the time at home. I'm sorry."

Me: (silence)

In the ten minutes that these two children were in the office, they ran around the entire place pushing buttons to the following effects:

- turning the speaker phone on and off several times so that we could all hear the lovely and very loud dial tone
- sending a blank fax to God knows who
- starting a dictation tape
- turning my computer off two more times.

To my relief, the Beasts (in this term I include mother and children) finally left. Five minutes later they returned.

Mom Beast: "Are you missing these?" She dangles my keys in front of my face.

Me: "Uh, yeah."

Mom Beast: "My son took them. Oh, he also stole a magazine. He liked the Mercedes ad on the back cover."