5K

After a year and a half into my "I'm going to get back into shape" routine and about 8 months of Runner's World had been delivered to my door, I decided I would sign up to run a 5k race. It was to be something to keep me motivated to keep up my routine. I also have this vague goal of running a marathon sometime in my life, and if my Dad's degenerative foot problems are hereditary, it's got to be in the next 5 years. So, I needed to start racing.

I woke up at the ungodly hour of 6:15 on Saturday morning and ate and got ready for the race at 7:30.

I was a little bit nervous. Not that I thought I wouldn't finish. And I wasn't delusional enough to think that I might win. I just didn't want to be beat by any old people or little kids.

At the starting line, all the ladies were bunched in little groups and all the men were spread out contorting their bodies into very strange positions that they seemed to think would help them win or at least run faster. Or maybe they were just trying to be noticed.

There was also a 10k starting on the same route we 5k-ers were taking. I realized not too far into my wait at the starting line that if you were not able to see the different colored number on someone's chest, you could pick out a 10k-er by the length of his or her shorts - veeeery short, and more often than not fluorescent.

I was at the back of the pack at the starting line. I was just going to run at my own pace so I could finish strong. So, I just trotted along, slowly passing some 10-year-olds and old people and this man I thought was going to die because he was wheezing so hard. He just kept running, so I assume he is ok. About a mile and a half from the finish, I picked up the pace a little and said to myself, "I'm going to beat someone. That lady right there."

So, I kept pace with her for about a mile.

Until some other lady distracted me, "No. Don't stop for water. That's a sin. You can drink when you're finished."

Now, of course I was a bit taken aback by such an extreme statement. Being the curious person that I am, I just had to look and see who had said it, to whom, and then try to figure out why. The lady who said it looked like she lived in the gym and took breaks at the salon/spa next door. She was skinny, tan, had bright pink claws and fake blond hair, and was wearing a sports bra that I can best describe as fuchsia. I suppose someone thinks she's sexy, but she looked like plastic to me. She was saying it to a little girl, about 11, who I assume was her daughter.

As I was gaping in disgust, I ran into the lady in front of me who was pushing one of those running strollers, "Damn it, no strollers! It says so in the rules - no pets and no strollers!"

And I lost track of the lady I was going to beat. I looked around, and she was nowhere to be seen. Either I was way ahead of her or way behind her. I'll just assume that I beat her.